8 Steps for Dealing with a Relationally Tense Thanksgiving

Cooking for a Crowd

The Stress: Whether you’re cooking your first Thanksgiving dinner or have been the go-to host for years, it can be stressful to be at the culinary helm. Some family members may have dietary restrictions like veganism. Others might tell you they’re looking forward to a meal exactly Grandma used to make, which makes you feel pressured.

Even if you’re not sweating your menu, Thanksgiving logistics can leave many hosts depleted.

The Turnaround: Preparing Thanksgiving dinner is a lot of work, and not everything will go exactly according to plan. If you can accept those two realities, your ability to sit down to dinner with a genuine smile on your face will rise significantly.

Start planning early. Create detailed shopping lists and make and freeze anything you can prepare in advance. Pull out serving dishes and decorations early so you won’t be digging through cabinets with a houseful of guests. Create a timeline for your oven so you have enough space for everything that needs to cook on Thanksgiving Day.

Also, recruit kitchen help mindfully, inviting friends or family members who will encourage you, follow directions, and take initiative when they notice you’ve piled up the silverware but haven’t set the table yet. Don’t forget to take a private moment to feel proud of the gift you have given your family by preparing this meal.